When Will I break?
I am 16 years old and live in kentucky. When i was in 8th grade i played basketball and looking back on that i cant believe i ever played since im a cheerleader now but thats beside the point. One game we played a school from about 45 minutes away and the 6th grade was playing first so the 7th and 8th graders where just hanging out in the bleachers. The other team as well. One girl from the other team started talking to us and we became good friends. She added me on myspace and we talked. then she told me she was gay and i have never even thought about possibly liking girls. That had never crossed my mind but i had feelings for her. We talked non stop and she actually made me feel happy. I realized i liked her alot. As it turns out we were together for about 2 years but possibly the hardest thing. I am a shy girl i dont like talking about my feelings much but sometimes i wish i had someone. No one, not one of my friends knows i like girls even to this day which is 2 years later. When i was in 10th grade this girl who i had been with (same girl) did something i never thought would have happened. well i had broken up with her and we were done but she still loved me so she decided to send a facebook message and tell everyone at my school, I go to a school with 40 people in my grade. That was probably one of the worst things that has happened to me. I was in no way shape or form ready to tell anyone. When people found out they asked me if it was true and i said no she just loves me but no i like guys. I have been living that same lie for almost 3 years now. I have had one other true girlfriend and it is the hardest thing to be with me. i have had this girl since may and it is now october. We have been off and on because of me. I am the one who lies about everything and i feel like my entire life is a lie. I cant tell my parents because im deathly scared but the only thing i want in life is to be happy with who i am and feel happy but i havent felt happy ever because i cant be true to other people or myself. i want to tell the world that im in love with this girl but i am scared. I want to finally be happy but i cant. I want someone to talk to but i have no one. I wonder how long ill be able to keep this up till i finally break.
im scared and my mom and i already have a shaky relationship so that makes it worse and much harder to tell my mom.
PS. i wrote this
Heyy, first of all I would like to say that you are very brave for writting on here. I think you have come to term with your feelings and that your ready to be completely happy. In my opinion I think that you should tell your family and friends that you are gay. They might react better than you think and support you 100%.You are not telling for there sake but for your sake, you don't want to live your life in secret. You want to be happy and live you life for you. Now that your in an relationship, you want to be able to tell the world about your girlfriend and you don't feel any shame about it. How can you be in an relationship when your are being completely honest with yourself. I think that when you realize that you being gay is only part of who you are and that there are many other things that make you who you are. After you do break you will feel a whlile lot better and life will alot easier.
I hope this helps you in someway. Just stay true to yourself 🙂
Heyy again, I understand that your scared of what your mom will and say and how you guys relationship might change. Well i suggest that you start with your close friends and some family members. They might help you and make it easier for you to come out to your mom. I think you should start small and eventually tell your mom. When you think the time is right tell your mom and you just have to be ready to deal with how she responds. Remeber you telling her so you want have to life your life in secret and you guys can have an open and honest relatioship.
yeah its scary. my mom loves me and we get along sometimes but im just afraid of what she will do if i told her. But the girl im with is so worth it, and i just need to tell my parents so i dont have to sneak around and see her.
Heyy, yeah i know that your scared of what your mom might do or say but i think that you feel much bettter, if you just tell her the truth about you being gay. Well you should definitley tell your mom, if you have someone special in that your life that loves and cares for you. Yes YOU SHOULD TELL YOUR PARENTS! You do not want to keep sneaking around forever, and eventually you will get tired of sneaking around.