life
Since I was younger I always felt different. I even grew up thinking I was a boy and at about 5 or 6 when I realized I wasn’t I was very confused and I think I have been since then.
When I was in High School I never really dated or wanted to guys grossed me out when I did go out with them. The best boyfriend I had in school was the nerdy guy who was too shy to try anything so we would just hang out with no pressure.
In college I dated some more guys and still felt the same way. Then I met my last boyfriend and we dated for 4 years and I prob would of married him if he wasn’t a cheat. I dunno what it was about him that made me stay with him like i have never done with a guy before. But now that I left him im starting to realize that Im not sexually attracted to guys like I am girls. I have never had a relationship with a girl so its hard for me to say that I’m not strait but I really dont think I’ll ever be happy with a man.
I believe that you fall in love with a person not there sex and I was in love with my ex but I have been in love with so many more of my girl friends and wished that it was OK to date them.
I’m just a small town girl from Ohio and even though times are changing it will never be OK for me to be who I am here. Even at 24 I’m scared to death of what comes next.
-B
hey. i read yr post and just had to comment.
U say that it will never be ok to be who u are there. Im a small island girl- from Trinidad to be exact, where everyone knows everyone and things basically move around in an ongoing circle. Whats even worst is that homosexuality is not only shunned upon down here, its still ILLEGAL in the books making it increasingly hard for this developing nation to, well, develop.
I started off dating guys too, but my longest so-called 'relationship' with one was only close to 6 months. I knew i liked girls since i was 14 but didnt come out really till last year. it was hard, especially coming from a catholic family. u can only imagine the things that were said and done. im 18 now and i guess im still young, but id rather be known for who i am, than accepted for who im not… and i think u should too. Im scared to death as well but u shouldnt let fear hold u back.
🙂
Hi. I was in a similar situation. It's never late to come out, i'm 28 and married, and just made it few months ago. At the beginning told it to a friend. Later with my sister and some person of my family. It's difficult but u have to try to be happy, i've always felt i d prefer girls even if i've never been already with a woman. I wish u the best and remember that the most important is to be yourself.