i just don't know

hi my names is marisol iam 17 years old and I am mexican and iam currently living in north carolina a really REALLY boring place. Since I was in 6th grade i knew i was a lil different but I didn’t want to accept it. I am not a lesbian but I am sure that I find women very attractive and beautiful, so yes that makes me bisexual. I have never dated a girl only guys, but recently i find myself thinking what it would be like to date a girl. Personally I think it would be more exciting but at the same time more chaotic. I haven’t came out to anyone. Not even my mom, whom i adore. I feel like i am lying to everyone around by not been myself. But i live in a kinda sorta small town and people are really judgmental being mexican on top of that, it makes it really hard to say who you really are. I am at senior this year and i plan to go to a school of cosmetology. I am anxious to graduate i feel like i am going to be able to start from scratch and fix my confused life. Watching the show made me realize a lot of things. i realized that two women can be happy, they can fall in love, and they most definitely break hearts. lol It also made we want to move to california even more. Right now i am at a point in my life where all i wanna do is say who i am and express the way i feel, but i have no idea how to. I don’t know how my friends will react or how my family will react i know my mom will be there and support me but i just cant build up the courage to tell her. i just don’t know.