I Choose me!

I choose me!

My name is Laëtitia, i’m 28 and i’m from France but living in Spain now. Few months ago I finally accept who i am, a lesbian.
I think in my deep inside i’ve always known i prefer girls but it was so hard to admit it for me, like if it was something wrong. When i was young i had nobody to talk about and i tried going with guys but i know that something wasn’t alright because when i kissed guys i was always criying after and felt so bad.

When i saw the Real L word i thought “Oh i’m not alone, there are many girls like me outside”.

Right now, i’m in a difficult situation i’m married with a man since 3 years ago, just made it to see my parents happy, really pathetic. But in May i just had a big crush for an another girl at the office, i work as a french translator and the other girl, Cristina, who’s brazlian translating portuguese.
We started to talk and we became quickly good friends, a day i asked her if she liked girls and told me she was a lesbian but with a girlfriend. Then i explain to her my situation, told her about my life and my story, she didn’t judge me and just knew perfectly how to listen to me. She’s my best friend now.

She was the first person in my all life to know that I was lesbian, it was a very important moment for me: I felt like if i could breathe for the first time, i felt so good and just be so sorry to not have coming out before.

Now just a few persons know it, the harder is for coming, to say it to my parents, my sister and sure to my husband. I am really afraid about that but I know my friend Cristina will give me all of her support for that, just one person is better than no one!
I am really happy to be true with myself now and i hope people who really love me would understand it.

Since i’ve accept who i am, i’ve discovered a fantastic world, a funny one with Liz Feldman and “This Just Out”, a real one with “The real L word” and so many other things to discover from now. And i feel free and very glad to say it’s okay to be gay!

I hope internet and all the new ways to communicate will help gay people to find themselves easier, maybe if i was a teen now, i wouldn’t choose the wrong way.
Now i just hope to find a girlfriend to love 😉

A lot of love,

Laetitia Loyer
(french girl from Torrevieja, Spain)